"T***-san you lost weight! But you look younger!"
For someone who loved to eat, I'd love to thank my genes for barely piling on the fat. I was supposed to treat him out to lunch, but, my friend's conscience got the best of him and paid for everything. Or so he said.
The orders came in.
"How's the MA going?" he asked.
"Changed majors in one day. Could you believe it? I've got a progressive reading list: Marx, Derrida, Foucault...we recently discussed about "moving the center". Or how some important Filipino words from the regions are not included in the "Filipino Dictionary". Like for example, 'mingaw' for missing someone or 'ginikanan' for parents, which actually refers to origins or roots."
"Mingaw actually means two things. One, it could be a place. Say, a cave with water. There's solitude, but, you also feel lonely. Get my point? Or if you're in the center of a rainforest. All is quiet save for the chirping of birds..."
I nod. "You really should check out "Kafka On The Shore". There's this chapter where the character goes deep into the woods as he tried to find something. Basta. Won't tell you more, just read it."
"Ok. So the second 'mingaw' is when you love someone and there's a great distance. There's this part of you that wants to see this person again and even if it's so impossible, it's there."
"Yearning?"
"Yeah, you're yearning for this person and it goes really deep. It's too bad the term is used loosely nowadays in text messages."
Flowing from one topic to another in between bites. We hit a road bump.
"You know, she could move heaven and earth," I said.
He stopped piercing the chicken with the fork. "That's unfair, dude. I moved heaven and earth for her."
His eyes stung. He was about to cry.
"Let it out dude."
"Damn," he was letting out short breaths to calm himself. I gave him a Bonchon tissue to wipe his tears off.
"You know I really should take your video!" I laughed at him.
"You're a douche!"
I laughed some more. He went on to explain, "You know, nothing's the same without her. I've had two relationships after her. They felt different. Coming back to Manila...I could only remember the good things she did to me. These places...Cubao or this street where she could make me eat vegetables and I would happily oblige...she was my world then."
He had this look of nostalgia, I felt sorry for him.
"But, dude, I spoke to her...she's mad at you."
"I know. It's my fault...it's like this Lamborghini. I'm gonna tell you the car seats are crappy, but, still, it's a Lamborghini. At least you know that before you buy it. What I'm saying is, I want her to know that this is me and she has to accept it. I'm a douche, but, I could be a nice douche."
"Right. And so you're testing her?"
"No. I want her to know that before she falls for me, if she falls for me again. You know I made her go through a lot...there's this time after we broke up, her windpipe broke down and she was in the bathroom and she couldn't even scream for help...I did that to her..."
"Are you going to win her back?"
"I'll try even if she doesn't want me anymore. I'll try even if she hates me right now and if that doesn't work, at least I tried."
I started to break. I felt how much he loved her. I understood how strong his 'mingaw' was, how it was similar to my own. I choked back tears but, I ended up getting some Bonchon tissue, too, "I really hope things will turn out ok for the both of you. I really do."
"We'll see."
Outside, it started to drizzle.
For someone who loved to eat, I'd love to thank my genes for barely piling on the fat. I was supposed to treat him out to lunch, but, my friend's conscience got the best of him and paid for everything. Or so he said.
The orders came in.
"How's the MA going?" he asked.
"Changed majors in one day. Could you believe it? I've got a progressive reading list: Marx, Derrida, Foucault...we recently discussed about "moving the center". Or how some important Filipino words from the regions are not included in the "Filipino Dictionary". Like for example, 'mingaw' for missing someone or 'ginikanan' for parents, which actually refers to origins or roots."
"Mingaw actually means two things. One, it could be a place. Say, a cave with water. There's solitude, but, you also feel lonely. Get my point? Or if you're in the center of a rainforest. All is quiet save for the chirping of birds..."
I nod. "You really should check out "Kafka On The Shore". There's this chapter where the character goes deep into the woods as he tried to find something. Basta. Won't tell you more, just read it."
"Ok. So the second 'mingaw' is when you love someone and there's a great distance. There's this part of you that wants to see this person again and even if it's so impossible, it's there."
"Yearning?"
"Yeah, you're yearning for this person and it goes really deep. It's too bad the term is used loosely nowadays in text messages."
Flowing from one topic to another in between bites. We hit a road bump.
"You know, she could move heaven and earth," I said.
He stopped piercing the chicken with the fork. "That's unfair, dude. I moved heaven and earth for her."
His eyes stung. He was about to cry.
"Let it out dude."
"Damn," he was letting out short breaths to calm himself. I gave him a Bonchon tissue to wipe his tears off.
"You know I really should take your video!" I laughed at him.
"You're a douche!"
I laughed some more. He went on to explain, "You know, nothing's the same without her. I've had two relationships after her. They felt different. Coming back to Manila...I could only remember the good things she did to me. These places...Cubao or this street where she could make me eat vegetables and I would happily oblige...she was my world then."
He had this look of nostalgia, I felt sorry for him.
"But, dude, I spoke to her...she's mad at you."
"I know. It's my fault...it's like this Lamborghini. I'm gonna tell you the car seats are crappy, but, still, it's a Lamborghini. At least you know that before you buy it. What I'm saying is, I want her to know that this is me and she has to accept it. I'm a douche, but, I could be a nice douche."
"Right. And so you're testing her?"
"No. I want her to know that before she falls for me, if she falls for me again. You know I made her go through a lot...there's this time after we broke up, her windpipe broke down and she was in the bathroom and she couldn't even scream for help...I did that to her..."
"Are you going to win her back?"
"I'll try even if she doesn't want me anymore. I'll try even if she hates me right now and if that doesn't work, at least I tried."
I started to break. I felt how much he loved her. I understood how strong his 'mingaw' was, how it was similar to my own. I choked back tears but, I ended up getting some Bonchon tissue, too, "I really hope things will turn out ok for the both of you. I really do."
"We'll see."
Outside, it started to drizzle.
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